Hardcore Discipline:

Since I have been writing about discipline and punishment, I might as well go into some more hardcore discipline I’ve had long after I moved away from home.

I have served as a submissive—in roleplays, not as a lifestyle—to three different Dominant Men. The discipline has been physical, of course, but that has little meaning useless there is a psychological component. That component gives you a real desire to serve and please Him. Since He knows and respects your limits—although He may push boundaries at times—things don’t get out of hand like some seem to believe. If it does, you are with the wrong person.

Enemas seem to be something gay and bi guys are curious about, at least from what I read online. Apparently it is a rocket science to some as how to do one before sex. I think they like the idea of it and talking about it, because it isn’t all that hard. But I get the interest and the erotic appeal of them. I have also been lucky enough to have been with two Dominants who used them creatively. (Three actually, but one I won’t go into more detail about, as She was a Woman whom I served briefly years ago.)

The first guy I met while still in Washington and his main interest was discipline in the form of heavy belting and enemas. We met through a swinger magazine ad, (Yea, gay, straight, bi and whatever men used them to meet other men for sex). After a number of letters (1990s) and phone calls, we got together. He had a lot of experience at his “specialty” which was “belting enemas.” He’d strip a sub naked, have him lie on his rubber-sheeted bed, give a full, 2-quart enema, and then take a heavy belt to the sub’s bare ass while requiring him to hold the it. Not one drop could come out or the belting afterward would be even harsher. The several time I went there, we had very satisfying role-plays, with the almost impossible task for me of keeping my anus clenched tight against the pressure of the enema water inside and the impact of the belt causing involuntary clenching, jerking, “dancing”, and jumping of my ass and body. (Just to note: One makes sure he is properly clean BEFORE punishment like this. That means a cleansing enema before, even if you have to do t yourself).

I visited him a number of times over one summer, but we drifted apart as I never developed a deeper psychological submission to him. It was pure role-playing. We never had sex, let alone made love.

Later, I met a long-time lover (of sorts—he was married) and we played much more, much longer, and things got really intense as far as Dom/sub between us. We tried about everything. Well, everything either of us had an interest in, or fantasized about. (Almost). We did get further than role-playing, at least I did. I really wanted to serve him, and would even try to avoid “punishment” even though that was the point of role-playing. Medical role-plays sometimes involved enemas, and we used the several times in discipline role-plays. The thing with enemas is that they are always embarrassing for the sub, not matter how much he really enjoys or wants it.

Then about 7 years ago, I was with a a guy from Belgium for a bit over a year. We had great sex, spent weekends kissing, making love, watching TV, drinking beer or wine, going out to dinner. All the things you dream of. He also had an extremely kinky side and was naturally dominant, even if not in any role-play. He was the first guy to try to fist me—we failed at that, or rather I did—he could get away with slapping me in the face during role-plays, something that would usually at least bring on a safe word on not a return slap from me. Or at least I thought so until he did it the first time, and although I was a bit pissed, I took it. Actually, I accepted it from him because he could read me so well.

The only problem we had was that he often had guests from overseas on weekends, and we’d not be able to use his place. Mine was much smaller and not as useful for the things we wanted to do. So one weekend when he had a couple staying at his place, he asked me to come over for dinner, but to prepare well before I came, meaning being totally clean for anal sex or whatever he decided. Odd, I thought, but t sounded intriguing to me. I did and, of course had a good meal with very interesting people. After dinner, they went out for a walk while Stephan and I stayed at home.

Stephan slipped into his Dominant mode, insisting that I had not properly respected Him in front of his guests (bullshit, but it was an excuse for punishing me!)and the punishment was to be an enema. Not just a regular water enema that we had sued in the past, but a milk and molasses enema. I have never heard of one, let alone had one, but He assured me that it would be unlike any I had experienced. And to add a bit of pressure, we did not know when his guests would return—probably in an hour and a half at most.

He took me in the guest bedroom(!) had me strip and get on my knees for the enema. I waited in that position as he brought in a cold carton of milk and a bottle of molasses and mixed them at 50/50. Then he got out his enema bottle which had a much larger than normal hose—about ½ inch I believe, lubed up my asshole and slid it in. The cold milk did not help at all, but I was used to uncomfortable enemas. What really became difficult was after he had got it all in and told me to hold it. It took maybe 5 minutes to empty the enema bottle up my ass, and he wanted me to hold it for another 5. By this time, probably 45 minutes had gone by and I had the additional worry of the guests coming back.

After just a few minutes, I began to get harsh cramps and asked for permission to go to the toilet to relieve it. He refused. Five minutes, He said. I did not think I could hold it for another minute. The cramps worsened and I started begging for permission to release it, and He still refused. I begged him more and more, and was to the point that I could no longer hold it, and had to give our safe word—the first and only time I did, as I thought I was going release it immediately. He let me go and I could not get to the toilet fast enough to avoid some of the milk and molasses from escaping.

After a seriously uncomfortable, cramping release, which took maybe 10 minutes, I was back out crawling on hands and knees asking for His forgiveness. I didn’t get it then, but was allowed to dress and clean things up before the guests returned.

I got several more over the next few weeks as punishment for failing the first. I was not much more successful at holding them either, as He increased the time each time.

I later asked Stephan if he wasn’t worried about his friends coming back and walking in on us. They were also into kink and S&M he said, and would have understood

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