The Purpose of Having a PA

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Life for Lou Rye was purring along. He was thirty-four, still far enough off of his 40th birthday not to be thinking of being middle aged.

His wife Sue was pregnant.

Oh boy, such a relief. That had abruptly stopped her constant moans at being unable to get pregnant and looking at him accusingly with almost a big question mark on her forehead.

The cow; he’d known every shot Lou Rye got away was crammed and creamed with sperm. Still there had been occasions he’d worried perhaps he had been firing blanks. But now the swagger was back in his walk and he could once again touch his erection with pride.

Sue had married him when they graduated. She’d been the one in a hurry. But despite banging away most nights and often in the morning it had taken eight years to produce a fertilized egg,

Lou had fleeting thoughts perhaps her earlier eggs had been duds or had she trotted off and secretly had a fertilized egg inplant or whatever it was called?

The marriage had been okay. In that time they’d had three cats and two dogs to substitute for children.

He’d run over one cat in the driveway, Sue had squashed one of the dogs against the garaged wall when driving in too far, a half-blind neighbor who couldn’t even identify the make and color of the get-away car actually saw the replacement dog being kidnapped.

The other two cats just disappeared and were probably living with little old ladies along the street or even right under their noses over the back fence.

Two years after marriage Lou was promoted to sales manager and only recently became director at sales and marketing as the three women appointed ahead of him had all successively bombed out, proving incapable at even organizing the morning coffee and lunch rosters.

In the three months he’d had the sales and marketing tiller, sales had lifted 5.6% in the first 30-days, 11.2% over the 60-day period and yesterday for the ninety days under his command sales had risen 15.9%.

The president had patted him on the back, straightened Lou’s tie and said he could expect a fat bonus. Lou had a wicked thought in hoping Al wasn’t a closet gay had had that sort of bonus in mind.

That sales manager appointment two years ago almost ended disastrously, Lou recalled, grinning and rubbing his groin.

The pretty blonde in Lou’s new office had purred, “Good morning Mr Rye. How are we this fine morning?”

Lou looked behind him at that use of ‘we’ but no one was behind him.

“Hi Miss and what are you doing in my office?”

“I’m your PA Robyn Mitchell. Mrs Salter applied for a transfer when learning you had won the position.”

“Why?”

“Because you leer.”

Lou thought that was pretty inoffensive.

“But never have I leered at that old bitch.”

Robyn giggled.

“Exactly and it gnawed away at her that you never leered at her.”

“God who said women had brains.”

Robyn giggled again and said brightly, “They don’t.”

Lou thought he really liked Robyn with her intelligent wit. He said boldly, “What do you have that’s worth me leering at Robyn.?”

She cupped her breasts. “Well these for starters.”

Lou leered hugely as they lifted right in front of his eyes.

“A-a-anything thing else?”

Robyn hitched up her skirt.

“These are one of my big assets. Even my mother says I have lovely thighs. Would you like to touch me?”

“P- put a notice on the office door stating ‘Staff Meeting In Progress’ and lock the door Robyn.”

“Omigod are you going to seduce me at 8:50?”

“Is that too early?”

“Um at training school we were warned to consider beginning work an hour before scheduled starting time to allow for a period of groping with the boss near the end of the working day if he were that way inclined.”

“That sounds like an excellent PA training facility. Are you displeased that I’d like an early morning grope?”

“Not at all. This means we could also squeeze one in at the end of the day with all the güvenilir canlı bahis siteleri bells and whistles if I appeal to you to that extent.”

Lou wiped dribble off his chin.

“You are a very innovative person Robyn and should go far in your career providing you have the flexibility to deal with my successor if she’s female.”

“Thank you er Lou.”

“Yes calling me Lou is fine. Is being bent over my desk okay?”

“Very okay,” smiled Robyn, finding the appropriate notice to clip to the door.

Lou watched her with interest and as she locked the door he said gently, “Clip the notice to the outside of the door sweetheart.”

“Aw and didn’t I say women don’t have brains.”

Lou glanced at his computer screen and saw Robyn had brought up her personal file.

She was thirty-eight and married.

That made him hesitate; he’d be a virgin adulterer and with her being married he’d be implicated in double adultery. That was bad enough but how the hell does a guy get a married women to open her legs, no matter how provocatively she flirts?

“So buddy,” he said, patting his erection. “Calm down; we’ll be out of luck here.

But sometimes a dream situation becomes true.

With the notice correctly displayed on the door Robyn came back to the desk and said brightly, “Let’s fuck?”

Lou couldn’t think of any alternative meanings to that statement; it was so short there was no room for ambiguity. His dick pressured to be let allow and before he had time to finishing unbuckling his belt and unzipping, Robyn was on her back on his desk with her legs dangling over it and spread wide and she had fingers… wow right up it!

Lou grabbed the desk for support as his knees almost collapsed on him

Fuck she even shaved; until now Lou was used to pussy in fur coat.

Robyn grinned and held up three dripping fingers for Lou to suck. His dick appeared to grow a foot but probably that was more likely half an inch.

He licked the fingers.

“Suck” she commanded.

Lou thought she meant the fingers and so rammed them into his mouth and sucked nosily.

“Oh god,” Robyn moaned, turned red faced and her body began jerking for some reason.

She grabbed his dick and pulled him forward.

He was thinking should he really be doing this when his dick felt as if it were falling into a peat bog. It felt warm, soft and moist and he looked down to see the final couple of inches of his dick disappearing into his PA.

Oh yeah.

“Someone might be coming,” Robyn giggled and Lou mistakenly took that to mean someone was approaching the office.

So he piston-fucked Robyn in a frenzied bout, driven by fear.

She turned purple, her mouth went slack and she heaved back at him in hugely mistimed counter-action.

Feeling her release over his balls and leaking over his thighs got Lou away so massively his eyeballs almost left their sockets.

Still panting he said, “Clean up and clean the desk while I go out and check that everyone in the department is working or out making calls.”

He turned to go to the door just as Robyn called, “Lou you need to pull…”

Lou crashed to the floor, snagged by his pants that he’d failed to pull up.

As he was leaving Robyn, looking at the mess she was in moaned, “Lou what do I use to clean up?”

“Use your imagination.”

The blonde PA looked at his retreating back mystified.

* * *

Lou arrived home just before 6:00. He’d called Sue and she’d said she was at her mother’s and would be home by 7:00 in time to go out to dinner.

“Or you could come over here for dinner.”

“Nah it’s time we went out,” Lou said.

His mother-in-law talked too much for his likening, not that he’d ever complained about that, not even to Sue. Every guy knows you don’t criticize your mother-in-law to your wife.

He was just getting out of the car in the garage, thinking of his dog Toby that had met his end against the garage güvenilir illegal bahis siteleri wall when a guy in a tracksuit ran in, grabbed Lou by his jacket and held a screwdriver under Lou’s chin.

“Are you Lou Rye?”

“Yeah but you’ve got the wrong guy. Back off. I’ve done nothing.”

“My wife has come home two nights running smelling of sex and not wanting sex.”

“I cannot help buddy. I’m not a doctor.”

The screwdriver dug painfully into Lou’s neck.

“She works for you. You are the only one who could be screwing her.”

“Says who?”

“I say so, slime ball.”

Lou knew he was in deep crap.

If he admitted it the guy could push the screwdriver into him, perhaps fatally. If he goaded him too much he could receive the same treatment.

“I’ve done nothing to your wife. She’s um… too short for me.”

“What the hell has height got to do with it?”

“Um my wife is tall. I was only attracted to tall women in my courting days.”

“Have you got something against my wife Slimeball?”

“No.”

“Well she says I’m too short for her and we both know she’d not referring to height.

The screwdriver was pulled away.

The beer-belly short guy let go of Lou’s lapels and that’s when Lou hit him… a hard left straight into that beer belly. As Mr Fatgut Mitchell doubled over gasping Lou thudded a right hook into the guy’s jaw and he folded.

Lou plugged in his electric drill and stood on one of the thighs of the groaning guy.

“Asshole I’m gonna drill through your balls right now and if you ever bother me again making wild accusations against me the next time we meet it will end with me drilling through your head.”

“No, no. Be reasonable. For Christ sake be reasonable. Obviously you’re not guilty.”

“Of course I’m not. You probably have made a mistake. Your wife could be having a period.”

“Huh. She had one two weeks ago.”

“God some of you men are dumb. Having you heard of irregular periods?”

“Er yes, my mother…”

“Look, I’ll leave your balls untouched this time. Now get out of here, Come near me again and I’ll drill your head. Oh no I won’t, I’ll blow up your SUV with you inside it. Now fuck off.”

Sue arrived home just as the guy who’d parked on the street was driving away.

“Did we have a visitor?”

“Yeah a salesman wanting to sell me screwdrivers.”

“God how exciting,” Sue said sarcastically. “Look I feel excited after listening to mom talking about babies. Let’s call for pizza and have a evening of gentle sex.”

“Nah I’m not in the mood; let’s eat out.”

Sue frowned.

“There’s blood under your chin.”

Lou felt trapped but had spent years lying to clients and his managers so knew what to do. He lied saying he cut himself shaving.

“You don’t look to have shaved?”

“Rusty blade so I didn’t bother finishing.”

“But stainless steel blades don’t rust.”

“Sue let’s not argue over semantics. Let’s go to dinner.”

“Okay darling. I know you are grumpy because of two hard days in your new role. When we return home mommy will insert your favorite butt plug in your cute ass and you can then go to sleep in my arms.”

Robyn didn’t turn up for work next day or even call in. Lou assumed Fatgut had beaten her up. She didn’t appear the next morning.

At 9:30 Alice from HR arrived with a skinny short woman with bifocals and said, “This is your new PA Mrs East. Robyn called this morning to resign saying her husband has handed their home to a realty agent to sell and they are leaving for the West Coast tomorrow to live. She is so sad to be losing this career advancement opportunity.”

“Yeah and I’m sorry too,” Lou said, looking at Mrs East. He thought she’d be exactly the type of PA his wife Sue would pick for him.

* * *

Two years on the baby the Rye’s called Tom was two, of course. The family had a small dog that was less that fender height tall in case Sue drove into the garage güvenilir bahis şirketleri too far. Lou was just purring along, having just turned thirty-seven and been a good boy after that disastrous two-day adulterous liaison with his former PA.

His new PA, Mrs Frankton, was sixty-five and weighed about one hundred and eighty pounds and was short. Lou spent his time wondering how he could persuade her to move to another city. Amazingly she resigned and said she’d found better employment

The next day Lou arrived and through the glass caught said of a tall blonde in his office with just the cutest face and being back on to him just the cutest ass as well. In panic he shot down to HR.

“Alice I want a replacement PA.”

“Oh Lou I’ll sort it out,” she said, looking at her watch. “You can’t have irreparably offended her inside ten minutes.”

“No, no. I haven’t even spoken to her. I looked at her through the window.”

“And?”

“Alice you won’t want me to say it.”

“She’s not Celtic, Middle Eastern or someone else of a different culture to you Lou. So say it, be frank with me.”

Fearing the room could be bugged, Lou whispered, “If she becomes my PA I’ll be tempted to fuck her.”

Alice suppressed a giggle and wiped the steam off her glasses.

“Lou you are over-dramatizing the situation. I received no complaints from Mrs East and Mrs Frankton about improper behavior from you.”

“Having sex is not improper Alice.”

“Well within certain boundaries I’d have to agree with that.”

“Those other two women had immunity from my unbridled adulterous lust. Don’t you see, they were short.”

Alice attempted to sit taller.

“Lou have you been on dope this morning?”

“No of course not.”

“Then may I suggest you go to your office, introduce yourself to Miss Brandi Lorne and behave like a perfect gentleman and a responsible husband and father. It might help if you always image Miss Lorne as being short.”

“What?”

“Just do it Lou. This outburst from you has made me sad. I’ve always fancied you but have learned I will never feel my arms around you.”

“But you are married and responsible Alice.”

“Yes but I’m also short.”

It was no use fudging it, Lou thought. From his first brief sight of her he knew Miss Lorne dripped sex, er figuratively er least for the moment.

She was hanging up her Certificate of PA Training Competence, the stretching up presenting Lou with the sight of two classically sculptured ass cheeks under her tight black skirt.

“Oh Mr Rye,” she cooed. “Good morning. I suggest I finish this wee task and then I’ll lock the door and you can have sex with me.”

“Why?” grunted Lou, having decided not to become involved in such nonsense.

“I’m a new graduate from the top PA training establishment in the country. We’ve committed to the 3 Core Principles of PA work that we must uphold to the best of our ability.”

“Oh yes and what are they: ask for a key to the executive’s washroom, never be punctual and on the second day on the job to ask the boss for an increase in salary?”

“Oooh those are admirable suggestions. However the core principles are invite the boss to fuck you as soon as you meet him to establish that special relationship that must exist between you and the boss; immediately after his withdrawal begin wiping his dick with your panties to deepen intimacy because that’s probably something even his wife won’t do and thirdly tell him to rest undisturbed while you clean up skillfully to remove all evidence of expending your combined lust.”

“Lou, may I call you Lou?”

“Of course,” said Lou licking his lips.

“Lou I invite you to fuck me as soon as I lock the door.”

“I’ll get the door Brandi. You concentrate on fingering yourself ready.”

“What front or rear holes or both?” Brandi said lustfully.

“You choose Brandi. “This is just a routine matter. Senior executives have PAs to do the thinking and organizing for then. I guess I’m about to find out just how gifted you are in this upcoming area of performance.”

“Oooh Lou, your confidence and understanding of our inaugural task in hand has me dripping copiously. Well done.”

Lou thought he really like Brandi already. At least they had one thing in common.

– – –

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