Dirty Words

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“‘Cunt.’ ‘Pussy.’ Among the most reviled words in English,” teaching assistant Smith was telling his class. As he delivered his lecture on the history of English slang, Laura, at 23 the eldest student, sat back and took notice. She hiked up her skirt a little, enough to expose a hint of chestnut brown hair peeking out of her tight pink panties.

“The Eskimos have over 20 words for ‘snow,'” he continued. Then he pointed to the word “cunt” written on the blackboard. “This shows you where our priorities are!”

‘Indeed,’ she thought as she exposed a little more skin for him. Her pussy lips were beginning to wetten. Could he see them?

She shifted a little in her seat. She opened her legs a little more. As the Indo-European cognates rolled off his lips—”cunnus, kunte, con, connos”—Laura opened her legs even more.

Finally, his eyes locked for a moment right where she wanted them. She closed her legs immediately. He looked away, but she caught a slight grin on his departing face. For the rest of the class period, she undressed him in her imagination, as she knew he was undressing her.

* * * *

An hour later found the young woman in Professor Smith’s office. She closed the door quietly as she entered. Then she leaned over his desk, the buttons on her blouse open and a hint of cleavage teasing his eye.

“Professor,” she told him with a half-serious tone, “none of the topics for our next paper suit me. French influences on English, the decline of the inflected subjunctive — I like the history of the English … umm … tongue, but I have another idea, one you may be interested in as well. I want to do a piece on female genital slang.”

“Oh? Is that a big-enough topic?” he asked, taken aback.

“Oh, yes,” she told him. “Indeed it is! I’ve been doing my research. There are more words for “vagina” than anything else in English, except drinking and copulation. Almost all of the words are slang. Over 1000 in all.”

“A thousand? And where did you find these thousand?”

“Books, books, books, dear Hamlet. The Oxford English Dictionary, of course.” She pointed out the 20-volume collection of English words on the professor’s desk. “I’ve got a list of over 1000 terms for … that part. That jewel. They can be grouped by topical relevance. Many of them have rich histories beyond what you told us in class.”

He folded his arms over his chest. “Really. Run them off for me, my inquisitive young student.”

“Yes, şirinevler türbanlı escort Professor.” And she stood up and pulled the elastic of her skirt out, peering in.

Smith frowned. “Nice view?” he asked.

“Oooh,” she moaned, putting a hand down her skirt. “Guess what I see ‘down there’? Now there’s a popular term. When you want to avoid saying ‘vagina,’ which is a clinical — and also a military — term referring to its sheathlike coverage of the swordlike penis, you can use geography: ‘down there.’ ‘The lowlands.’ ‘Swamp,’ ‘mound of Venus,’ ‘tunnel of love,’ ‘heaven,’ ‘hell,’ ‘home sweet home,’ ‘Cock Inn.’ ‘Where the monkey sleeps.'”

Laura ran her fingers across the pink lips still hidden from her teacher’s gaze, feeling the line that separated them. “This is what ‘slit’ means. “‘Twat’ means ‘two,’ like the two halves of my hot pussy.” She rubbed her two outer pussy lips. “‘Snatch’ refers to how it grabs your cock or tongue, which it will do shortly.”

Professor Smith reached forward, grabbed the young woman by her skirt, and gently pulled her forward. He peered into her clothing at her mound, then swiftly pulled the skirt down, coming face to face with, for the first time, his student’s research project.

“Maybe it reminds you of an animal: a mink, a monkey, kitty, *pussy*, tail, magpie’s nest—

“In Catholic high school, we used to call it a cheetah,” the professor laughed. “Oh, how quickly they got around.”

Laura smiled at him. Then she ran her smooth hands across her pussy again, through her thick brown hair, and down to her protruding pink clit bud. She brought her fingers to his nose. “Smell me,” she ordered.

Obeying, he inhaled deeply. Her pussy had a deeply musky smell, with a bit of an ocean aroma. “Many words refer to the smell. Many of them are not flattering words, referring to various inhabitants of the sea. “‘Tuna,’ ‘snapper,’ ‘fish,’ Eww!!!”

“Believe me, Laura, these words do not refer to you,” he assured her.

Then she spread her pink lips right before his wide eyes. “Many of our words refer to the opening here. I don’t think any other hole has as many other terms for it. There’s ‘gash,’ ‘toolbox,’ ‘canyon,’ ‘hole,’ ‘lovebox,’ ‘gutter’—”

“‘Lunchbox,” the professor snickered.

“Lunch will be served soon,” Laura told him. “And then there’s ‘cranny,’ ‘nook,’ ‘gully.’ I could go on and on.”

“And şirinevler ucuz escort then there’s food,” the brown-haired beauty said. She moved closer to him, climbing his walnut desk, kneeling down with her wet, furry cunt just a foot from his face. Reaching out, she took his head and pressed it forward. In the second it took him to get his face into her cunt, he was assaulted by a wave of familiar cunt odor. Now, with his face home, the professor inhaled the strong musk to his heart’s delight.

“Ah, what glorious food is a woman’s cunt. It’s a peach, a fur pie, a honeypot, a furburger—”

“I’m definitely getting honey,” he moaned. “Mmm, yes.”

“—a kettle, mutton, fish sandwich, seafood, passionfruit, rubyfruit.”

“Don’t forget ‘muffin'” he said, looking up into her eyes as his tongue slid into her sopping hole. “You definitely are a muffin.”

“And a jellyroll, jampot, and a cookie. My, do you know how to eat cookie!”

“Then there’s your thick, lustrous hair,” he said. “What words does our glorious language have for that?”

She pulled his face away, beginning to moan heavily. “My beautiful brown hair that stretches from my belly button down to my asshole and up between my cheeks? More than the French, I say.” Laura turned her hips over, indicating the pink pucker between her fleshy cheeks. It was surrounded by a forest of hair that went up to the middle of her asscrack and stretched two inches on either side of her asshole. “It’s fur, a bush, a lawn, a forest, a thicket, sweet briar, thatch, grass. If I shave it, it becomes moss for a short while, then soon grows back to a beard, wool, fox, beaver, squirrel, garden, muff, cotton.”

“Do you have a name for your vagina?” he asked her.

“There have been Babette, foxy, Aunt Maria, Mary Jane, Mother of Saint Patrick, Miss Brown … and my favorite, ‘hot little Laura.'”

The professor’s dedicated student pushed his head back to her tight, oozing fanny.

“I’m about to come,” she moaned. He pushed his tongue deeper into her, fucking it with in-and-out motions. With his upper lip, he brushed her clit up and down. As she fucked his tongue, she muffled her cries and shuddered, her cunt muscles clenching his tongue hard, her thighs shaking.

Laura moaned heavily as her knees gave way and she collapsed on his desk, spilling papers onto the floor. Still, he kept his tongue glued to her flowing hole.

“Oh, şişli escort stop. STOP!!!!”

A quivering mess, Laura sat up, her knees shaking. “My, I do love the English tongue …. Have I told you about the word ‘cunt’?”

“Why, no, dear Laura. Tell me all about it.” He said that amid a faceful of visible pussy juice that stretched from his chin to his forehead.

“Well, professor, ‘cunt’ is the most reviled, dirty, and forbidden word in English. They’ll be saying ‘fuck’ on prime-time TV long before they say ‘cunt.’ But it was once a legitimate term. It has French, Latin, and Norse cognates. German and Greek, too. And Spanish. Probably dozens more. Chaucer used versions of the word in ‘The Canterbury Tales.’ Some people incorporated it into their last names. There was a Gropecuntelane, even, where prostitutes offered their services. And a doctor used it on at least one occasion, in 1230, to refer to a patient’s vagina.”

She continued, sitting up and looking at him. “Our precious Oxford English Dictionary didn’t even include it until 1972.” Opening and closing her legs like butterfly wings, Laura said, “From the 1700s to the mid-1900s, it was illegal to print the term. Cunt. Cunt. CUNT! It may be related to ‘quaint,’ ‘cow,’ ‘quiff,’ ‘queen,’ ‘carnal,’ ‘gynecology,’ ‘Gwen,’ maybe even ‘cove,’ ‘cottage,’ ‘cooch,’ ‘cudgel,’ ‘cubbyhole.’ You must go back thousands of years to a common derivative believed to be ‘ku,’ referring to femininity in some fundamental way. Cunt has always been powerful. The German ‘kunte,’ the French ‘con,’ the Spanish ‘conyo,’ Sanskrit ‘cushi,’ Greek ‘kusos, and Latin ‘cunnus.’ You know ‘cunnus,” she said, shamelessly flaunting her own cunnus at him.

“‘Cunnus’ was outlawed in Rome for a while,” he said to her twat.

“And there’s cuntlet, cunny, and cunnikin, all diminutives of that linguistic enigma. Oh, it’s such a shame all these words are so dirty,” she bemoaned.

“Ah, but that’s what makes them so fun to use,” he told her, coating a finger with her fragrant cum and licking it off. “Would they turn us on so much if they were clean?”

“I guess not, Professor,” she said.

“Well, you’ve convinced me. Female genital slang is enough of a linguistic force to deserve its own paper. Good luck.”

Laura thanked him, then moved her eyes down to his still-bulging crotch.

“Professor, do you know how many words there are for men’s genitals?”

“No …”

She took hold of his zipper, undid it, reached in and pulled out his already-hard cock. She brought her lips to its head and gave it a sloppy, wet kiss, then quickly slid it inside and back out.

“Let me begin. There are well over 500. There’s cock, dick, schlong, fireman, John Henry, wanker, German helmet, gulley raker …”

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