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I got out of the shower and put on khakis and my faded business school t-shirt and my memory foam slippers.
The predawn March air was crisp and the water was starting to boil.
I made a pot of french press and walked down to the deck. I set the coffee and mug on the table and put my Camel Wides on my Bible.
I sat down and poured a cup of coffee and took a deep breath. Should have brought a jacket. First day of March and the birds were chirping. Life is a sweet thing.
I struck a match and lit the cigarette and opened my Bible. Ambition set in, along with guilt and the general apathy of knowing that one day i would end up regretting some of the things i enjoyed.
Mais c’est la vie, non?
I turned the thin leafy pages and sunk in deep.
I finished the coffee and cut my fingernails. Filed them. Trimmed the corners down and rounded them off.
After my three mile run and some eggs and Conecuh sausage i got in my truck and headed to the bank.
I got five fifties and went to the store.
I bought three one-liter bottles of water, three packs of Goody’s headache powder, a Butterfinger and thirty dollars on pump one.
I met James at his house.
We played a two out of three on his uncle’s new pool table and i won five bucks on a three-ball run finished with a simple shot up the east rail that kissed the eight ball into the corner pocket.
“Who are you going with?” He asked.
“You man. You wanna go? I got an extra ticket. It’s general admission but we can get there early and get up close,” i said.
“Hahha and do what? Twirl around with a bunch of hippies? No thank you. Actually i do want to go with you one day. I bet it would be fun on mushrooms,” he said.
“I bet. I wouldn’t know,” i said.
“You don’t speak latin? We shall have to remedy that,” he said.
“Hahahah maybe one day.”
“Do you ever dance with girls or just greasy dead-heads?” He asked.
“Mostly greasy dead-head girls. Seems like the kinds of girls i like to dance with are rare at Widespread shows,” i said.
“Well you should bring some x or something. You’d love it. Great to have your skin turn into hypersensitive pleasure liquid while you’re dancing,” he said.
“Huh. Actually that does sound pretty badass. Can i get it in half-portions so i can ease into it?” I asked.
“Sure we can cut what i have in half.”
I opened up one of the goody’s packs and unwrapped the two wax paper rectangles. I took some water, leaned my head back, and poured the powders into the waiting pool of water in my mouth. I swallowed fast and pulled down more water.
When James came back he had a ziplock bag and a pill-cutter.
He halved two pills and carefully put them in another ziplock and handed them to me.
“I can’t believe i’m about to do this. I’m gonna be like all the young-uns at their stupid raves,” i said.
“And if raves were not awesome i might agree with you,” James said.
“Well look i’ve never done it and i don’t intend to but i want you to fill this up and make it look like a goody’s,” i said, handing him the two unfolded goody’s papers.
“Its a pill.. you want me to gri-“
“No. I want your favorite thing.”
His face lit up – “dude! Yes! Always coca-cola?!”
“Yeah. But it’s for trading. Not for me,” i said, mostly believing myself.
“Ok. Hang on.”
When he came back i handed him some cash.
We went down to the kitchen and saw his aunt Donna making a couple of pizzas for her kids.
I walked in and saw her and everything came flooding back. I hadn’t expected she would be here, and i had no reason to think she wouldn’t be, but there she was.
She had on a long blue dress with red hibiscuses splotched here and there.
She smiled just a little when our eyes locked and then looked quickly down and away. Her eyes darted almost imperceptibly to the garage where her husband was working on his precious Porsche.
Her hair was… God her hair was the same.
Full and thick, obsidian with streaks of grey that she didn’t, would never dye.
“Hey James and Jack. How is this cold day treating you?” She asked, looking at James.
“Good,” James said, oblivious. He opened the fridge.
“Mighty fine Mrs. Hawkins. How about you?” I asked.
Her face was already flushed and it seemed to get a little rosier.
Her tiny gold earrings caught the chilled morning sun. A curl of her hair had escaped her hair clip and was down by her ear.
“Any day is a good day when you get to be my age,” she said.
I wasn’t about to strike on a fly that obviously man-made and i think she knew it.
“Do we have any black olives?” James asked from behind the door of the refrigerator.
“They’re in the door,” she said, her eyes staying put.
I looked at her green eyes and briefly remembered a girl from years ago who said her eyes went from green to “brilliant green whenever i have just cried or just come.”
She used to say i must like them brilliant green because making her cry and making her come were halkalı escort the only two things i was any good at.
But she wasn’t an athlete or a reader so we didn’t get into any of my other what the hell was i thinking.. she is long gone and Aunt Donna is in the kitchen on the other side of the island.
“How are William’s basketball skills coming along?” I asked, reaching for any distraction from the gold-specked emerald pools that looked at me from a mutually acknowledged and irrefutable distance.
“Well he had a good season at point guard but he’s gearing up for tennis season now,” she said with a frailty that i couldn’t put my finger on.
“William’s gonna play a girl sport?” James asked.
Donna looked at me expectantly.
I looked back at her. Kid’s gonna have to learn tennis is a girl’s sport. I’m not jumping on that grenade.
“He wants to. He says he wants a break from soccer,” she said a bit robotically, with a microscopic set of her jaw.
“Huh. Guess i wasn’t the role model i thought i was,” James said.
“James do you mind grabbing my purse?”
“Ok. The one by the back door?”
“No its in the backseat of my car,” she said. “And you know what, Todd moved my car down to the street so he could make room to work on his 911. Actually i’ll get it later. Don’t worry about it,” she said.
“No i got it – nothing better than a long walk on a frigid morning,” he said.
“James, i said its fine-“
“Just messing with you Aunt Donna – you put a roof over my head, i’ll get anything anywhere anytime. I’m your soldier,” he said as he grabbed a pile of pepperonis in one hand and his coat off the rack with the other.
“Well thank you sergeant,” she said with a grin.
“Need any help with the pizzas?” I asked.
I walked around the island.
“Where are your boys?” I asked, looking down at her.
Her face relaxed a little and she looked up at me.
“They went to play paintball with some friends,” she said.
I looked over her shoulder at the garage door. I could hear Tom working.
I looked down at her and held her gaze for a second or two.
“Did James take his bike down to the street or is he gonna walk all that way?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she said as she looked out the window.
I knew she wouldn’t be able to see him from the first floor of the house and i knew he would light a joint as soon as he got away from the house because he likes to smoke before a meal… we’re opposites in that regard.
“Well we can’t see him from there. Turn the oven on and let’s go see if we can catch him doing anything unseemly while he walks,” i said.
I grabbed her hand and looked at her with a quizzical grin and turned on my heel. She didn’t let go.
We walked towards the stairs. She was right behind me and she didn’t make a sound.
When we got up to the first landing and were out of view of the kitchen and the upstairs windows, i stopped and turned around.
She dropped my hand and put her hands together in front of her, for all the world like a timid little schoolgirl.
“The oven will preheat in ten minutes, James will be back in fifteen at the least, your kids are at war and Todd-“
“Is a pathetic cheating piece of trash,” she finished with a matter-of-fact lilt.
I looked down at her and took a step forward. She playfully took a step back. Her back was almost to the gray wall. Pictures of her and Todd when the kids were young, at the lake, at the beach, hung on the wall behind her.
“I’ve been wanting to do something ever since i saw you today,” i said.
Her chest rose with a deep inhale.
“Yes ma’am, Aunt Donna.”
I reached up and brushed the hanging bit of hair from her face behind her left ear.
She breathed out and her right hand came up and daintily caught my forearm, holding it as i buried my fingers in her hair.
I looked down at her, looked at her lips… i started to lean forward and then suddenly i took a step back.
“Race you to the top!” I said.
I turned and double-timed up the stairs.
She followed with a giggle and grabbed my belt at the small of my back and tried to pull me back.
The garage door opened and Todd said “hey Donna? You in here?”
We froze. She looked at me and i motioned towards the room where James was staying.
“Yeah honey i’m up here,” she said.
“Ok – James and i were gonna run up to Autozone to get a couple of things. He needs some stuff for his car and i figured we could knock that out together – should take us about an hour and we’ll eat as soon as we get back – is that gonna mess up your plans?”
Donna looked at me with a sparkle in her eyes and said “Yeah that’s fine – just turn the oven off for me, ok?”
We heard him take a couple of steps and then heard the oven beep.
“Oh – and Todd? Could y’all grab a caramel cake from Henrick’s and four bottles of moscati? taksim escort I’m supposed to bring that to Cheryl’s tonight… oh gosh did i forget to tell you about that?” She said.
“You’re going to Cheryl’s tonight?” He said.
“Yes and i’m taking the boys – they’re all going to the movies and we’re having a girls night in,” she said.
“Well sure. That sounds fun darling. See you after while,” he said.
We heard the door close and his Porsche purr to life.
“That was masterful,” i said as i walked out of the bathroom. “Hang on a quick second.”
I texted James. Told him i was gonna hit the road and see him later. I asked him if Todd knew i was there and told him i’d explain later why I asked. He said no and I said keep it under his hat. He said cool. He said there were mushrooms in his bathroom cabinet if i wanted to leave some money and grab a few. I said maybe some other time – maybe we could head out to the country sometime and go on a psybilcilin camping trip but anyway i wanted to try shrooms with him for the first time. We said peace and i slid my phone into the pocket of my khakis.
Donna was still standing at the top of the stairs.
I looked at her and smiled.
She was silhouetted by sunlight from the upstairs window and she cocked her hip out to the side a little.
I remembered a girl once who taught me that i needed to warm her up and let her relax and melt into things.
Ever since then i’ve always tried to feel that out, the best path forward, the way to let the girl shed her fears and really blossom into the moment …
With Donna i took a bit of a gamble.
I figured since she was sticking out a humiliating and cold marriage for her kids, she would be ravenous and free once the opportunity arose. It was more than just an educated guess.
– – – – –
With us it had always been a little interesting… i made friends with James the usual way when he was about 22 and i was 28. I caught him on the tail end of jail and rehab and he was looking up at the world from rock bottom. We began to lift together and soon we discovered a mutual fascination with history, espionage, technology and extreme personal ambition. We met each other at major course changes in our respective lives, and we began to lift and run and read and build a vision for a way to create a profitable company that we could pour ourselves into.
At that time James wasn’t living with his aunt and uncle… i only heard stories about them. Todd was a personal injury lawyer and he had devolved into a workaholic who was discrete but unrepentant about his infidelities. Donna stuck with him because she knew her sons would benefit from the money Todd brought in and because she couldn’t bear the thought of putting her sons through a divorce.
James had never mentioned that Donna was a nearly a decade younger than Todd or that she was remarkably stunning… all he said on that score was that he didn’t understand how marriage could be that tough that you’d cheat on a decent-looking woman. Donna sounded like the name of a bank clerk with too much makeup so meeting her was a bit of a shock.
It must have been uncomfortable for James to think of Donna or describe her as a woman because she was his mom’s sister.
She was taller than James.. at least 5’9. She was fairly active… she had stopped playing tennis when the rumors about Todd reached her circle at the country club. She had taken up yoga and kickboxing in the last year or two.
I didn’t know if she was trying to stay ready in case she found herself single in her late thirties, or simply needed the yin and yang of peaceful stretching countered by beating the hell out of her punching bag, but she was vibrant and hardworking, with an inexplicably mirthful spirit and an easy laugh accented by an anchor of grief.
She was irresistible.
The first time i met her she was fairly quiet, demure even. As James began to take ownership of his life, and went back to college, and worked his ass off to get his ducks in a row, something must have seeped in to James’ family.
His parents, or rather his stepfather, was a hurricane of shit but i found respect in Todd’s eyes, familiarity in the boys and something akin to a spark of hope in Donna’s eyes.
I was almost thirty and found myself in limbo… college girls still looked like feasts but they almost looked illegal to me now… the girls i knew were mostly either married or taken or broken down Tinder-haunting bar-combing petri dishes.
The first time i had dinner at Todd’s house we were all in the dining room… it was James’ birthday dinner and Donna came out to her car with me to “help me carry in his present.”
We got out to the garage and i opened the back door to her suburban and started looking for the gift.. it was three cans of protein powder and a stack of books… i started to reach in but i felt her hand on my forearm.. she said “here, stay there, i’ll help you reach it.”
Then she stepped in front of me and just stood there şişli escort for a beat or two. My nose was in her hair. Her hand trailed down my arm and the blood started pounding in my ears. Instinct took over. I knew there would be hell to pay but i figured i’d let the chips fall. I took a shuffle step forward until my crotch was tight against her full ass. God that ass. I kissed the nape of her neck and kissed around to the right side until her ear was in my mouth and my left hand opened wide and palmed her taut stomach. She was moaning in her throat and she swirled her hips in that delicious feminine coil and arched her back and pushed her ass hard against my cock.
I knew this was going to end in disaster. Her family was at the dinner table. Her kids were her reason for not leaving Todd and she was doing this? Here? Now?
I knew it wasn’t the best idea but i slid the fingers of my right hand up her neck until it was buried in her hair and gathered a fistfull and pulled gently.
Her left hand was on my pants, squeezing for dear life. My knees started to go weak but i held my resolve.
“Stop. Donna. Stop. I want you more than you realize but this is not ideal. Your kids could walk through that door any second now.”
She let out a huge sigh.
Then she slumped over onto the back seat. Her feet were still just in front of me and her ass was wedged up even tighter against me now.
She whispered “you’re right. But sometime we better make this happen.”
The hem of her sundress was pulled up high on the sides and was tight across the top of her ass where it was pushed into me. I rocked my hips forward. She moaned a little.
“My life is hell,” she said.
I felt an ache in my gut. I knew she was embarrassed to complain and maybe embarrassed at having thrown herself at me.
“Get the books,” i said.
She raised her head off of the seat and looked for the books. They were on the far seat, a couple feet in front of her.
She started to pull her arms up under herself to lift up and reach for the books, but i grabbed both of her arms and pulled them behind her back. I grabbed her wrists in my left hand and pulled the seat belt from beside the door and placed it in both of her upturned palms.
“Hold this tight,” i said.
“What?” She said in the most girlish, coquettish little whisper.
I stepped to the left and took my right hand from the small of her back.
She put her feet together and went up on her tip toes. The hem of her sundress was resting on the curve of her ass.
Time was of the essence.
I grabbed a handfull of her ass with my right hand. I grabbed her dress with my left and tossed it up onto her back. She was twirling her hips again. She pushed up and back into my hand.
She was wearing white cotton panties.
I curled my fingers underneath them and pulled them down. She snapped her feet together like a soldier to attention and the motion sent waves of jiggles through her full cheeks. I pulled the panties down, they were stuck a little in her undercarriage but i slid them down and she stepped out of them. I bent to pick them up and found myself kneeling behind her. I grabbed her ass with both hands and pushed her up a little with my arms against her thighs and put my head between her legs.
My tongue found hair and warmth.
I licked and tasted the divine height of the sensation of taste, the eternal flavor, the briny musk of a woman ready, and found that i wouldn’t be able to reach her clit from this angle so i flattened my tongue out and dragged it slowly back to her entrance, lingered for a second, leaked some spit on my tongue and licked slowly and broadly until I reached her little pucker… i licked once over it with some pressure and then abruptly stood up.
That was a stupid waste of twenty seconds and i knew it.
I slipped my ring and middle finger into her.
“Oh shit! Yes. God!”
I pistoned my fingers with an increasing tempo. Her head was down and her hair was bouncing in time with my hand. She was laying on top of a plastic shopping bag. I grabbed it with my left hand and stuck my left thumb into it and swirled it until the plastic was tight around my thumb.
I curled my fingertips down and lifted my arm until i was stroking her from a steeper angle, putting pressure downwards and dragging my curled fingers back and forth across a spot that made her yelp a little each time my fingers plunged into her. She was up on her tip toes again and was doing some kind of little swirly dance with her hips, pushing them up in time with my downstrokes. I doubled the pace and a bead of sweat dropped from my brow and splashed at the top of her ass… i watched it mix with her sweat and trickle down to her pucker.
She was close. Her melodic hip twirling was matching the punishing pace of my rhythm. Her breath was coming quick and ragged and it was starting to catch.
I unzipped my shorts. I had never been as hard as i was at that moment. I kept my fingers working and i felt her reaching a point very near no return. I freed my cock with my left hand and the plastic bag crinkled a little.
Donna yanked hard on the seatbelt and her back began to arch and convulse and she pushed herself with her legs back towards me. She was screaming a harsh raspy whisper of a scream and then it hit hard and she went silent and stated to shake.
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